#37 - Pure White Bathrobes
Loro Piana Cashmere Robe
Price: $3,495
Rich people face a never-ending dichotomy, an inner turmoil that is rarely understood by the middle and lower classes. How does one balance a public image of importance and responsibility with a private life of leisure and luxury? Remember, their time is precious and it should be spent increasing wealth or enjoying life to the fullest. While yacht charters, island getaways, topiary and escort services are all important, the most accessible way to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle is the white bathrobe. Of course it helps if your major domo is serving fresh squeezed orange juice, Italian espresso and a selection of tropical fruits while you work through the NY Times crossword, in pen of course, but these are secondary to the primary luxury that a robe provides.
To befriend the rich, you will want to familiarize yourself with the comfort and luxury provided by this simple item. I know what you are thinking, my father wore a threadbare robe every Sunday morning and he definitely wasn’t rich. Don’t be fooled, there are robes and then there are robes. Any jackass can visit Target and pick up a terry cloth striped robe with bunny slippers for less than twenty bucks but these betray the essence of the real deal. A robe should be thick with plenty of material to wrap and long enough to avoid errantly displaying the family jewels. Next, you will notice the difference in the collar; luxury demands that a second layer is stitched on the inside to ensure you are swaddled in plush fabric around the neck and chest. Finally, deep pockets are required. You may wonder…what would I carry around in the morning? The answer is nothing; they act as a metaphor to remind you that you are rich and can afford frivolities like meaningless pockets.
Should you find yourself in conversation concerning morning couture, sharing breakfast with a wealthy colleague at the summer home or enjoying a steam bath at the club, it is wise to be versed in the subtleties of leisure wear. Debate continues around where one should acquire this essential apparel. To many, the only choice is a pure white robe from a high-end department store or local boutique specializing in fine linens and towels. For others, purchasing robes embossed with luxury hotel brands serves a dual purpose of showcasing your worldliness and accessing global luxury through well regarded purchasing departments. The danger with the latter is the lingering question of whether the robe was purchased or gauchely abducted from the Four Seasons without a second thought. For this reason above all others, err on the side of social acceptability and avoid branded robes, unless you are Winona Ryder of course.
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Stuff Rich People Love 
>interest amongst those people whom enjoy said popular blogs simply because they want to be rich
Um… what? Are you saying “You hope that people who like the blog, “Stuff White People Like” will also like this blog? Yes, of course he hopes that. Why is that bad?
>other poor bastards don’t think it’s funny to poke fun at their dreams of wealth
He’s poking fun at the rich, not poor bastards who want to be rich… though they are even funnier, because of their awkward displays of insecurity.
Here’s a better insight: “Some people like to write run-on sentences and skip articles because it makes them sound officious and scientific, when really they have nothing to say.”
That’s funny… True… But funny….
Poor bastards love to pretend they know what rich people like while biting the theme of popular blogs under the the self delusion that this whole idea will generate a parallel interest amongst those people whom enjoy said popular blogs simply because they want to be rich. But what poor bastard doesn’t understand is other poor bastards don’t think it’s funny to poke fun at their dreams of wealth, only the things they must do to attain or maintain it..