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Posts Tagged ‘cashmere’

#37 - Pure White Bathrobes

#37 - Pure White Bathrobes

Loro Piana Cashmere Robe
Price: $3,495

Rich people face a never-ending dichotomy, an inner turmoil that is rarely understood by the middle and lower classes. How does one balance a public image of importance and responsibility with a private life of leisure and luxury? Remember, their time is precious and it should be spent increasing wealth or enjoying life to the fullest. While yacht charters, island getaways, topiary and escort services are all important, the most accessible way to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle is the white bathrobe. Of course it helps if your major domo is serving fresh squeezed orange juice, Italian espresso and a selection of tropical fruits while you work through the NY Times crossword, in pen of course, but these are secondary to the primary luxury that a robe provides.

To befriend the rich, you will want to familiarize yourself with the comfort and luxury provided by this simple item. I know what you are thinking, my father wore a threadbare robe every Sunday morning and he definitely wasn’t rich. Don’t be fooled, there are robes and then there are robes. Any jackass can visit Target and pick up a terry cloth striped robe with bunny slippers for less than twenty bucks but these betray the essence of the real deal. A robe should be thick with plenty of material to wrap and long enough to avoid errantly displaying the family jewels. Next, you will notice the difference in the collar; luxury demands that a second layer is stitched on the inside to ensure you are swaddled in plush fabric around the neck and chest. Finally, deep pockets are required. You may wonder…what would I carry around in the morning? The answer is nothing; they act as a metaphor to remind you that you are rich and can afford frivolities like meaningless pockets.

Should you find yourself in conversation concerning morning couture, sharing breakfast with a wealthy colleague at the summer home or enjoying a steam bath at the club, it is wise to be versed in the subtleties of leisure wear. Debate continues around where one should acquire this essential apparel. To many, the only choice is a pure white robe from a high-end department store or local boutique specializing in fine linens and towels. For others, purchasing robes embossed with luxury hotel brands serves a dual purpose of showcasing your worldliness and accessing global luxury through well regarded purchasing departments. The danger with the latter is the lingering question of whether the robe was purchased or gauchely abducted from the Four Seasons without a second thought. For this reason above all others, err on the side of social acceptability and avoid branded robes, unless you are Winona Ryder of course.

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#32 - Sweater Draped Over the Shoulders

#32 - Sweater Draped Over the Shoulders

Loro Piana Cashmere Cardigan
Price: $1,195

Fashion is not universal. There are trends that some people can always wear and trends that some people can never wear. Sweaters draped over the shoulders are strictly the domain of the rich, the non-rich are happy to keep it that way. As the NY Times printed, “a cardigan sweater draped over the shoulders can look fashionable and be ready to don should the temperature drop.” Citing air-conditioned restaurants, theaters and sea breezes as practical reasons for having a sweater handy, the reality is these are not-so-clever excuses used by the rich to justify strategically placed apparel where it doesn’t belong. Like many wealthy customs, their great grandparents did it, their grandparents did it, their parents did it and now they will do it too. It is a tradition passed down the same way as choosing schools, choosing tailors and choosing white shoe law firms to article at before the trust fund matures.

Conspiracy theorists will claim that, like Valentine’s Day, this is a ploy by designers to sell more merchandise but draping a sweater over one’s shoulders is less complicated than that. Ockham’s razor is a principle that states the simplest explanation is the best explanation. In this light, it is easy to understand that the wealthy are nothing more than victims of mob mentality or groupthink. Place hundreds of people in a closed environment that snubs newcomers and they are bound to do the same as one another. This is the philosophy of private clubs, so it should come as no surprise that everyone acts and dresses the same. It would be social suicide to voice dissenting opinions in such circumstances and as a result members go with the flow; they drink scotch, wear loafers without socks and drape sweaters over the shoulder.

You’re thinking, what about Italians? The truth is, through some genetic anomaly they look great with a sweater over their shoulders despite the near worthlessness of the lira during the 1990’s. Clearly wealth isn’t a factor so the credit goes to swarthy good looks, three-day stubble growth and vintage Vespa scooters. They also wear Capri pants but you’ll be hard pressed to find a man anywhere else in the world who wears Capri pants and remembers the last time they enjoyed a romantic interlude with a woman. Suffice it to say, unless your name is Margaux or Porter be practical, stick to prêt-a-porter and avoid sweaters as accessories!

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