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Posts Tagged ‘Loro Piana’

#37 - Pure White Bathrobes

#37 - Pure White Bathrobes

Loro Piana Cashmere Robe
Price: $3,495

Rich people face a never-ending dichotomy, an inner turmoil that is rarely understood by the middle and lower classes. How does one balance a public image of importance and responsibility with a private life of leisure and luxury? Remember, their time is precious and it should be spent increasing wealth or enjoying life to the fullest. While yacht charters, island getaways, topiary and escort services are all important, the most accessible way to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle is the white bathrobe. Of course it helps if your major domo is serving fresh squeezed orange juice, Italian espresso and a selection of tropical fruits while you work through the NY Times crossword, in pen of course, but these are secondary to the primary luxury that a robe provides.

To befriend the rich, you will want to familiarize yourself with the comfort and luxury provided by this simple item. I know what you are thinking, my father wore a threadbare robe every Sunday morning and he definitely wasn’t rich. Don’t be fooled, there are robes and then there are robes. Any jackass can visit Target and pick up a terry cloth striped robe with bunny slippers for less than twenty bucks but these betray the essence of the real deal. A robe should be thick with plenty of material to wrap and long enough to avoid errantly displaying the family jewels. Next, you will notice the difference in the collar; luxury demands that a second layer is stitched on the inside to ensure you are swaddled in plush fabric around the neck and chest. Finally, deep pockets are required. You may wonder…what would I carry around in the morning? The answer is nothing; they act as a metaphor to remind you that you are rich and can afford frivolities like meaningless pockets.

Should you find yourself in conversation concerning morning couture, sharing breakfast with a wealthy colleague at the summer home or enjoying a steam bath at the club, it is wise to be versed in the subtleties of leisure wear. Debate continues around where one should acquire this essential apparel. To many, the only choice is a pure white robe from a high-end department store or local boutique specializing in fine linens and towels. For others, purchasing robes embossed with luxury hotel brands serves a dual purpose of showcasing your worldliness and accessing global luxury through well regarded purchasing departments. The danger with the latter is the lingering question of whether the robe was purchased or gauchely abducted from the Four Seasons without a second thought. For this reason above all others, err on the side of social acceptability and avoid branded robes, unless you are Winona Ryder of course.

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#26 - Driving Gloves

#26 - Driving Gloves

Moreschi Monza Driving Gloves
Price: $395

Rich people love exotic automobiles so it should come as no surprise that rich people love driving gloves. Driving gloves are extremely recognizable and therefore an easy means to forge friendships with the wealthy and to identify you as a compatriot of the cultured. Driving gloves have four identifying characteristics; leather construction, holes at the knuckles, snap wrist closures and ownership by drivers who believe 150 km/h is a moderate pace! Driving glove owners are most certainly automobile aficionados who, as an example, will wax poetic about the Ferrari 250 GT SWB as the last true GT and discuss Pininfarina styling with such passion you would be forgiven the belief that such discourse could supplant their need for Viagra, if only their wife loved cars.

As they say, if you don’t know the past, you don’t know the present and therefore the future. Driving gloves were originally conceived to counter unreliable heaters, ungraspable steering wheels and adrenaline fueled sweaty palms. While these may have been problems in classic automobiles, two of these issues have gone the way of the dodo, while the third has been relegated to first dates, interviews and hedge fund audits. Despite technological advances inside the car, social progression of vehicular couture is slower and as such there remains a place in every enthusiast’s wardrobe for Moreschi Monza driving gloves.

To make friends, focus on the the crux of the driving glove debate, color choice. This is where you can put yourself in the social driver’s seat. The rich can spend hours discussing the merits of aligning glove color with the interior appointments of their Bugatti Veyron versus matching to their Loro Piana jacket and Zegna trousers. This high brow debate will be spirited and if you want to blow their minds ask why one would stray from a single pair as performance favors consistency. You will receive a hearty “hear hear!” and the altercation will conclude with a gentleman’s agreement to disagree. The lesser B-type of the group, likely nicknamed “Big Pussy” since boarding school, will offer to buy a conciliatory round of 40-year old Macallans and you will be discussing summer homes in Montauk and the merits of live-in nannies faster than you can say Barrett-Jackson Classic Car Auction!

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