Price: About 4 Carats
Rich people love trophy wives. Trophy wives mark an important milestone in every overweight, middle-aged, balding, sports car driving, midlife crisis ridden wealthy male. After years of living off the proceeds of their trust fund, there comes a time in every fabulously rich man’s life that he needs to consider “trading up”. Just as you can’t drive your 1993 Ford Explorer for the rest of your life, wealthy males believe that a newer model will dramatically improve their life.
Trophy wives are easy to recognize. They are tall, slim, have perfectly manicured nails, beautifully coiffed hair and dress like they have stepped off the pages of Vogue magazine. They are between twenty-five and fifty years younger than their husbands and when you see them you will be inspired to ask the question “what the f@*k is she doing with him?” The answer is easy, he’s loaded and she vacations with the pool boy. Often spotted lunching at the Four Seasons, you may be tempted to paint all trophy wives with the same scalpel when it comes to plastic surgery but that isn’t fair. There are plenty of naturally beautiful women that won’t need work for another decade or so. By then most of their husbands will be dead.
How can you use this information to shore up your relationship with the wealthy? Two rules, don’t stare at her and keep your questions about her age and his ability to satisfy her needs to yourself. Asking these sorts of questions exposes his façade; they are akin to telling the emperor that he’s not wearing any clothes. The last thing you want to envision is a naked sugar daddy. The thought alones makes me want to scrub my hippocampus with steel wool to permanently remove that memory! Remember, don’t make any loud noises around the happy couple, that could trigger the heart attack she’s praying for!