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Posts Tagged ‘The Hamptons’

#26 - Driving Gloves

#26 - Driving Gloves

Moreschi Monza Driving Gloves
Price: $395

Rich people love exotic automobiles so it should come as no surprise that rich people love driving gloves. Driving gloves are extremely recognizable and therefore an easy means to forge friendships with the wealthy and to identify you as a compatriot of the cultured. Driving gloves have four identifying characteristics; leather construction, holes at the knuckles, snap wrist closures and ownership by drivers who believe 150 km/h is a moderate pace! Driving glove owners are most certainly automobile aficionados who, as an example, will wax poetic about the Ferrari 250 GT SWB as the last true GT and discuss Pininfarina styling with such passion you would be forgiven the belief that such discourse could supplant their need for Viagra, if only their wife loved cars.

As they say, if you don’t know the past, you don’t know the present and therefore the future. Driving gloves were originally conceived to counter unreliable heaters, ungraspable steering wheels and adrenaline fueled sweaty palms. While these may have been problems in classic automobiles, two of these issues have gone the way of the dodo, while the third has been relegated to first dates, interviews and hedge fund audits. Despite technological advances inside the car, social progression of vehicular couture is slower and as such there remains a place in every enthusiast’s wardrobe for Moreschi Monza driving gloves.

To make friends, focus on the the crux of the driving glove debate, color choice. This is where you can put yourself in the social driver’s seat. The rich can spend hours discussing the merits of aligning glove color with the interior appointments of their Bugatti Veyron versus matching to their Loro Piana jacket and Zegna trousers. This high brow debate will be spirited and if you want to blow their minds ask why one would stray from a single pair as performance favors consistency. You will receive a hearty “hear hear!” and the altercation will conclude with a gentleman’s agreement to disagree. The lesser B-type of the group, likely nicknamed “Big Pussy” since boarding school, will offer to buy a conciliatory round of 40-year old Macallans and you will be discussing summer homes in Montauk and the merits of live-in nannies faster than you can say Barrett-Jackson Classic Car Auction!

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#2 - Sebonack in The Hamptons

#2 - Sebonack in The Hamptons

Sebonack Golf Club
Price: USD $1,000,000

An important step in rich people’s lives is an invitation to the private club. Members-only clubs may be lavish golf courses with national tournaments, renaissance-styled urban monuments or non-descript edifices with nothing more than a private buzzer and a doorman. What they all have in common are outrageous membership fees that only give access to people that are exactly like themselves. It’s like throwing a party at your home with a lot of people you don’t like and somebody else makes rules about what you can wear…probably a blazer with a god-awful crest, white pants and for god’s sake…tuck in your shirt.

There is an important distinction between private clubs and private clubs. The former are for people that believe they are successful, the latter are for the truly wealthy. The former drive Porsche boxsters and dream of 911s while the latter may have driven a Ferrari in high school…if they were driving themselves at all. Insanely exclusive, private clubs are for the white-shoed, old money, pedigreed, well-named and educated-at-the-right-school crowd; you can pick them out by the number of lips stuck to their ass, politicians hanging on their every word and the ever so drôle laugh that casually rolls off their recently collagenated lips. Rich people believe that municipal bonds and credit swaps are excellent “getting to know you” conversation starters and that you simply must have a nanny.

Not sure if you and your friends are privy to the private club lifestyle? Here’s a quick quiz. Is it a pity that the Metropolitan Club opened because your family already held a membership at the Union Club? Are you outraged that members at Shinnecock Hills and Maidstone Club on the South Fork hold memberships at The Bridge? Have you turned down an invitation to The Atlantic? If you answered yes then you most certainly belong at private clubs.

To give you an idea of how exclusive some clubs are; memberships at Sebonack and The Bridge Golf Clubs are rumored to cost $1,000,000 (yes count those zeros) and $850,000 respectively. Money alone does not guarantee entry, but as the saying goes membership has its privileges. The Bridge restricts membership to 150 to ensure that members never have to wait for a tee time while Sebonack offers accommodations at one of the many 4 bedroom guest quarters next to the lavish clubhouse. Furthermore, Sebonack has built a par three 19th hole where members can play tie breakers or settle wagers. Not yet convinced? Annual dues are less than $20,000, include as much golf as you can play but of course does not cover tips to the caddy and other incidental expenses.

Given that beach house rentals in The Hamptons can top $400,000 a month in summer, a million dollar golf membership seems quite civilized indeed.

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