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Posts Tagged ‘SUV’

#52 - Range Rover

#52 - Range Rover

2009 Range Rover
Price: $114,300

Rich people love Range Rover. They hold a privileged place in the heart of the wealthy by coupling the social presence of a Maserati with the convenience of a minivan, which they would never drive. The spaciousness of the vehicle is an important factor in deciding to domesticate the family garage. With over 74 cubic feet of loadspace volume and a towing capacity of nearly 8,000 lbs, it is the perfect vehicle to carry one’s Hermès or Bottega purse on the front seat.

It is ironic that rich people like Range Rover because they hate to get dirty. In fact, you will find more bottles of hand sanitizer and alcohol wipes in a Range Rover than the nurses station in an Intensive Care Unit. The rich are so obsessive about sanitizing and sterilizing that if you see dust defacing one of these luxury automobiles, expect that “the help” is getting fired; you can imagine the consequences of finding mud! Knowing that Range Rovers aren’t driven for their off-road prowess and that the nanny isn’t toting the children around in the family SUV there are only two explanations; Range Rovers are an elite status symbol or the rich think they need to be safer than the lower classes! Good news, you’re both right!

Range Rover is the only vehicle to hold royal warrants at Blenheim Palace (status…check!) and they boast safety features like driver’s side knee air bag, parking aid and a radio-frequency keyset with rolling codes (safety…check!). The rich can rest assured that they couldn’t be safer driving from their home in their gated community to the yoga studio in their gated community. In the event that you encounter a rich person during a particularly inclement day, take the opportunity to comment on the poor roads and ask how they managed in such conditions? This provides them the opportunity to empathize with you and suggest that they weren’t sure their 20 inch wheels, Terrain Response System and self-adjusting suspension would get them there in one piece. Refrain from rolling your eyes and take solace knowing that they have never driven a lemon and believe that driving themselves is roughing it. After all, even their driver needs a day off once in a while.

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#1 - Armoured Vehicles

#1 - Armoured Vehicles

Knight XV by Conquest Vehicles
Price: US $310,000

Armored vehicles are why I decided to start blogging…they are extravagant by every measure. Ignoring whether I actually believe that someone needs this kind of protection, I am amazed by the sheer size and price. I mean, for $310,000 you could probably buy off anyone that really wanted to hurt you! The Knight XV from Conquest Vehicles is somewhere between a tank and luxury bus but only 100 are being manufactured so don’t delay! The specs on this baby are impressive…GVWR of 17,000lbs, curb weight of 12,000lbs (by comparison an Escalade is only 5,700lbs), V10 6.8L engine, 100″ tall (that’s 8′ 4″) with a length of 240″ or a full 20′ long. Take a look at their photo gallery to get an idea of how big it is…it makes a hummer look like a Tonka toy! Next time you park next to your neighbour’s new Lamborghini at the country club you can be sure his manhood will whither.

The question that armoured vehicles raise is, are you safer in this behemoth with all the attention that it attracts with its opaque armour and optional two-way P/A intercom system? I mean, I understand armoured vehicles for the military, police and other professionals that are in the line of fire but they likely aren’t outfitting their vehicle with first class aircraft sleeper seating, flat panel TVs, cigar humidors or a refreshment bar.

But I digress, this really is about how the ultra-rich spend their money. Clearly a need for safety makes armoured vehicles a viable line of business for companies like Conquest Vehicles, Inkas Armoured and Stoof.  Don’t get me wring, I understand how important personal safety is; in Ironman…even the US military couldn’t protect Tony Stark! Next time you are wondering how to dispose of $310,000 look no further than a vehicle that also keeps the environment in mind by utilizing a flex-fuel option which enables consumption of up to 85% ethanol…a diesel engine is available if you plan to do a lot of river crossings. One more thing, don’t forget the optional ‘under vehicle magnetic attachment detector’…even a Blackwater operative would think twice about working in such desperate conditions!

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