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#52 - Range Rover

#52 - Range Rover

2009 Range Rover
Price: $114,300

Rich people love Range Rover. They hold a privileged place in the heart of the wealthy by coupling the social presence of a Maserati with the convenience of a minivan, which they would never drive. The spaciousness of the vehicle is an important factor in deciding to domesticate the family garage. With over 74 cubic feet of loadspace volume and a towing capacity of nearly 8,000 lbs, it is the perfect vehicle to carry one’s Hermès or Bottega purse on the front seat.

It is ironic that rich people like Range Rover because they hate to get dirty. In fact, you will find more bottles of hand sanitizer and alcohol wipes in a Range Rover than the nurses station in an Intensive Care Unit. The rich are so obsessive about sanitizing and sterilizing that if you see dust defacing one of these luxury automobiles, expect that “the help” is getting fired; you can imagine the consequences of finding mud! Knowing that Range Rovers aren’t driven for their off-road prowess and that the nanny isn’t toting the children around in the family SUV there are only two explanations; Range Rovers are an elite status symbol or the rich think they need to be safer than the lower classes! Good news, you’re both right!

Range Rover is the only vehicle to hold royal warrants at Blenheim Palace (status…check!) and they boast safety features like driver’s side knee air bag, parking aid and a radio-frequency keyset with rolling codes (safety…check!). The rich can rest assured that they couldn’t be safer driving from their home in their gated community to the yoga studio in their gated community. In the event that you encounter a rich person during a particularly inclement day, take the opportunity to comment on the poor roads and ask how they managed in such conditions? This provides them the opportunity to empathize with you and suggest that they weren’t sure their 20 inch wheels, Terrain Response System and self-adjusting suspension would get them there in one piece. Refrain from rolling your eyes and take solace knowing that they have never driven a lemon and believe that driving themselves is roughing it. After all, even their driver needs a day off once in a while.

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