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#48 - Not Oredering From the Menu

#48 - Not Ordering From the Menu

Not Ordering From the Menu
Price: Risk of the Unknown

For rich people menus are suggestions and only important if they have a wine list. While most people feel uncomfortable asking to substitute a salad for fries, rich people think nothing of swapping the club sandwich for Chilean sea bass and the soup for monkfish pate with caviar. Why order from the menu and be restricted by the chef’s narrow vision? Besides, any restaurant worth eating at should be flexible in serving the needs of its customers or so rich people like to believe.

When you think about it, ordering what you want, when you want it is the raison d’être for any restaurant so maybe the rich aren’t far off on this one. The chef, the waiters and the bartenders are there to make your night memorable and spectacular. If this is not the case, you need to stop choosing restaurants that proudly advertise locations in 39 states. These are fine when your mother-in-law is in town but not for a special night out. The only reason rich people have heard of Applebee’s, Ruby Tuesday or Texas Roadhouse is that they own stock but have never been inside of one. The reasons for not setting foot in these fine establishments are many, among them is that the staff has learned to say no to substitutions. This simply won’t do for the wealthy.

Admittedly, not using the menu to order can get a little out of hand but this won’t stop someone who spends more on dinner in a year than most people spend on a home. Much like the royals of England believe that God selected them to lead the country, rich people like to believe that they possess divine palates superior to the men and women trained at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris. They will dismissively order whatever suits their whimsy and complain bitterly if it fails to meet their arbitrary standards. The great failing of their culinary entitlement is indeed a tragic flaw. Having always been wealthy, they have never worked in a restaurant and therefore cannot conceive of the evils that lurk within the inner sanctum of the kitchen when dealing with difficult customers. While the rich remain none the wiser, if you’ve seen Fight Club you know to avoid the lobster bisque and the braised endive. To those about to order, we salute you. Bon Appétit!

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