Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘philanthropy’

#53 - Saving Africa

#53 - Saving Africa

Saving Africa
Price: Modest Knowledge

Rich people love to support noble causes and a favorite cause is to save Africa. Don’t confuse this with caring as it is socially important that every rich person show a compassionate side. The way that rich people save is different than the way that the rest of the world saves. Many people will give a year of their life volunteering or make monthly donations in return for a photograph and signed Christmas card. Rich people use causes as the raison d’être to host lavish fundraising galas with an annual flight to Africa for a safari and photo ops during a tour of schools or hospitals supported by their foundation. Ironically, a major reason that Africa needs help is the 19th century colonization of the continent by rich people.

Historically, the pillaging of Africa was fueled by an insatiable desire for copper, rubber, diamonds, tea and more recently oil. In return for stripping the continent of its riches, Europeans provided limited education, frowned upon mixed marriages, enlisted Africans to fight in World Wars, implemented enforced labor and planted cash crops while neglecting food crops. The result, this doesn’t make for good conversation when befriending the rich. Instead, use this as an opportunity to flatter their generosity and learn more about their benevolent nature.

Rich people like devoting their philanthropic efforts to saving the Dark Continent because it is easy to explain. Medical research or environmental work can be confusing but conjuring images of impoverished orphans in the sub-Saharan is effortless. It is also simple for the wealthy to explain how much good they are doing. Measuring the number of hospitals, patients, schools, students and textbooks is superior to scientific jargon or tonnes of CO2 eliminated. They would spend more time explaining the metric system than proving what generous people they are. Remember, it isn’t about making a difference, it’s about being recognized for the difference rich people make. Ensure you fawn over and embellish their efforts and you are well on your way to a black tie affair. If you are lucky they may invite a real live African whose life they have enriched, the wealthy are so wonderful.

Don’t miss new posts! Sign up for our RSS feed, post to your iGoogle page or subscribe by email and receive updates anytime there is a new post!

Read Full Post »

#24 - Naming Museum Wings

#24 - Naming Museum Wings

Naming Museum Wings
Price: $28 million

All rich people consider themselves philanthropists. They want you to believe that they make the world a better place through sizable donations. More importantly, they crave the attention that people pay to their name on university buildings, hospitals and museum wings. But, just because the rich lack a sense of humour doesn’t mean museum names have to; the Wing Luke could host a great Star Wars exhibit and the Cockburn or Cummer Museum would…I think you get where I’m going.

Museum wings herald to the city, state and country that their benefactors are wealthy, tasteful, highly cultured and clearly connected to the right people. Why do donors fund a museum’s major construction costs when even in a no-name US city costs run upwards of $12 million? To the rich, naming makes a lovely gift, a lasting monument to themselves, a permanent place on the A-list, makes up for years of greedy indiscretions and ensures a table at the best restaurants…the Guggenheims never wait at Per Se or Le Bernardin.

If you want to make wealthy friends, dote on the upper class at any opportunity. Make constant references to their philanthropic efforts, regardless of the size of the gift. You’ll walk a fine line between sycophantic pandering and outright ass kissing, but the right level of recognition to their cries for attention will pay healthy dividends. Wooing the rich is easy but there are rules. First, do not ask how much they gave to the Met or MoMA…they are itching to tell you anyway. Next, mention that the use of an initial in their name conveyed tremendous sophistication. Finally, don’t talk about the art housed in their wing as they likely will have no idea that there are balloon animals and lava lamps masquerading as art under their silver plated nameplate. Natrally, knowing the difference between Monet or Manet is critical and it may land you invites to socialite galas chatting with beautiful women in Marc Bouwers and Jimmy Choos…now that’s art!

Don’t miss new posts! Sign up for our RSS feed, post to your iGoogle page or subscribe by email and receive updates anytime there is a new post!

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: