Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Food’

#48 - Not Oredering From the Menu

#48 - Not Ordering From the Menu

Not Ordering From the Menu
Price: Risk of the Unknown

For rich people menus are suggestions and only important if they have a wine list. While most people feel uncomfortable asking to substitute a salad for fries, rich people think nothing of swapping the club sandwich for Chilean sea bass and the soup for monkfish pate with caviar. Why order from the menu and be restricted by the chef’s narrow vision? Besides, any restaurant worth eating at should be flexible in serving the needs of its customers or so rich people like to believe.

When you think about it, ordering what you want, when you want it is the raison d’être for any restaurant so maybe the rich aren’t far off on this one. The chef, the waiters and the bartenders are there to make your night memorable and spectacular. If this is not the case, you need to stop choosing restaurants that proudly advertise locations in 39 states. These are fine when your mother-in-law is in town but not for a special night out. The only reason rich people have heard of Applebee’s, Ruby Tuesday or Texas Roadhouse is that they own stock but have never been inside of one. The reasons for not setting foot in these fine establishments are many, among them is that the staff has learned to say no to substitutions. This simply won’t do for the wealthy.

Admittedly, not using the menu to order can get a little out of hand but this won’t stop someone who spends more on dinner in a year than most people spend on a home. Much like the royals of England believe that God selected them to lead the country, rich people like to believe that they possess divine palates superior to the men and women trained at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris. They will dismissively order whatever suits their whimsy and complain bitterly if it fails to meet their arbitrary standards. The great failing of their culinary entitlement is indeed a tragic flaw. Having always been wealthy, they have never worked in a restaurant and therefore cannot conceive of the evils that lurk within the inner sanctum of the kitchen when dealing with difficult customers. While the rich remain none the wiser, if you’ve seen Fight Club you know to avoid the lobster bisque and the braised endive. To those about to order, we salute you. Bon Appétit!

Don’t miss new posts! Sign up for our RSS feed, post to your iGoogle page or subscribe by email and receive updates anytime there is a new post!

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

#45 - Trendy Diets

#45 - Trendy Diets

Trendy Diets
Price: Self Control

Alright, to be fair nobody loves diets but at some point everyone fantasizes about losing weight. For most people this is something they admit to, usually over beer and a large pizza, but never do anything about. The rich don’t have that luxury. To fit in with rich people, women must always be wafer thin and appear to be hiding an eating disorder to be accepted by the ladies at the club. It’s why you rarely see large rich women, except in Texas where everything is bigger; second marriages have a way of selecting out this trait too.

The result of this obsessive compulsive behavior to fit into a size 0, a size 2 or, god forbid, a size 4 means trying every new diet to keep the effects of natural age from catching up and parking on their hips. Obviously surgery is an option but rich people like the camaraderie that develops from eating the same foods and comparing results. For rich women it is like the Olympics with the biggest loser winning the proverbial gold medal without the ill effects of carb loading. For this reason, lunch at an upscale restaurant is like combining a Weight Watcher’s group with the “it’s a small world” ride at Disney World. You can pass from table to table taking in the sights and sounds of the latest craze in different social circles.

You will find a smattering of healthy and not-so-healthy representations of what’s hot in nutrition circles. Inevitably you will stumble upon women drinking gin martinis and eating bacon on Atkins, a balanced plate on The Zone, Raw Food advocates, the Mediterranean diet, lean meats and an absence of grains with South Beach and most recently touted by Oprah, tables of women drinking Acai Berry smoothies. While each of these appears to help for a time, this lifestyle is reminiscent of the Wheel of Pain. In a few weeks it will be time to throw their allegiances behind the next fad diet and talk excitedly about the tremendous results. Being the first to uncover the latest diet is a feather in their cap because at the end of the day nobody wants to embarrass themselves by ordering cabbage soup at Daniel on the Upper East Side. You simply must try the paupiette of sea bass or at least admire it while eating a single asparagus spear.

Don’t miss new posts! Sign up for our RSS feed, post to your iGoogle page or subscribe by email and receive updates anytime there is a new post!

Read Full Post »

It is such a beautiful day! The sun is out, women are wearing gingham dresses, Prada sunglasses and floppy sunhats while the men look relaxed in linen suits with Ferragamo loafers. Such a lovely day calls for a trip to the ballpark, and what would a day watching the boys of summer be without sampling the finest MLB culinary offerings. Discover the best and worst of the 30 major league parks. Enjoy today’s fun site, Finding the Hits, Avoiding the Errors at the NY Times! I recommend the crab cakes in San Francisco!

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: