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#39 – Auction Houses

Posted in Art, Lifestyle, Luxury, Personal Services, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2009| 2 Comments »

#39 - Auction Houses

#39 - Auction Houses

Sir Anthony Van Dyck
Price: $4,080,349 incl bid premium

Rich people love auctions as much as the rest of the world. Name a product and there is an auctioneer that will sell it. Ask people what comes to mind when you say auction and you will hear eBay, perhaps Ritchie Brothers if you come from an Italian construction family or 4-H if you believe chewing grass while riding a tractor is a good day’s work. For the rich, the timeless auction houses of Christie’s and Sotheby’s are the only place to bid on rare items.

The difference between auctions that the wealthy attend and the fast-talking hawkers or electronic auctions that the rest of the world uses may seem as superficial as price but it goes much deeper than that. The rich love exclusive auction houses for the, well exclusivity of it. There is something intensely gratifying for the wealthy to sit in a hushed room surrounded by other sophisticated, educated, cultured and wealthy people. The sound of the gavel and the soothing English accent of the auctioneer make buying rare items with the flash of a numbered paddle worth the 10% to 30% premium that buyers part with as part of the “hammer price”. Yes, that’s right when you pay more than $6M for a little known Picasso, you can expect to give Sotheby’s as much as $1.8M for the privilege of owning it. On top of that, the house takes about 15% from the seller. Imagine that.

If you can get past the sheer volume of commissions you can better understand what bidders are really paying for. It isn’t about buying the art, but rather the peer recognition at cocktail parties and museum galas of your unspoken wealth and ability to pay extraordinary sums for products that will likely end up in a climate controlled vault. Remember, this is a world of exclusivity. Anyone can walk into a gallery in Chelsea to buy art or the local liquor store to buy wine but neither bestows the level of recognition from your peers as purchasing a Château Lafite-Rothschild Vintage 1982 from Christie’s for $186,643. So raise your glasses and toast the rich for their uncanny ability to lose touch with what things really cost.

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#38 – Alluding To Their Wealth

Posted in Art, Lifestyle, Luxury, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2009| 2 Comments »

#38 - Alluding To Their Wealth

#38 - Alluding To Their Wealth

Joana Vasconcelos’ Golden Independent Heart
Price: $230,205

Rich people love alluding to their wealth. Few rich people will flat out tell you how much they are worth and if they do it is a sign that they are a flaming douchebag! Instead, rich people will drop not-too-subtle hints to ensure that you know they have amassed great wealth. Obviously this doesn’t apply to the children of rich people who will tell anyone within earshot the value of their trust fund.

The ability to integrate key phrases into normal conversation is a life skill that one must perfect if they are to mingle with the wealthy. As with most skills, timing is everything and without it you will seem like the poor, red headed stepsister. Allusion is an art but with some practice you can shine like the Hope Diamond or Julia Roberts’ teeth. First consider which of your latest material possessions will be most impressive to the group. Wait for the conversation to meander within the proximity of the topic most interesting to you before drawing a loose parallel to your topic. Now, offhandedly drop the bomb. If necessary, use this as an opportunity to land a figurative uppercut on the glass jaw of the most repulsive person in the group.

Let me give you an example. Some pompous ass, who claims to have worked on “The Street”, is talking about risk strategies and municipal bonds. He asserts that his portfolio is primarily weighted towards oil but he has hedged with airline stocks. You step in and mention that volatility in the marketplace has shifted your focus to investing in art. In fact, you just acquired a beautiful contemporary piece by Joana Vasconcelos while visiting London. Turn to the windbag and say, I was surprised you had not been invited to the auction at Christie’s. BOOM! He’s down for the count, you’ve impressed the group with your taste, and the conversation now centers on your knowledge of post-war sculptures and paintings while your colleagues are left to speculate about your net worth. Congratulations, you float like a butterfly, sting like a bee…Sun Tzu and Machiavelli salute you.

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