#61 - Champagne Fountains
Champagne Fountains
Price: Disregarding Cost
Rich people love champagne. It is exclusive, it is expensive and almost anyone looks sophisticated holding a flute of Dom Pérignon. While treating yourself to a glass of champers every New Year’s Eve and enjoying the sensation of bubbles dancing on your tongue is enough to appease the huddled masses, for the wealthy a single glass will never do. The rich turn to more extravagant displays of their class, their elegance and their boundless financial resources, champagne fountains. The endless supply of effervescent elixir is visually stunning and says that your host will go to desperate lengths to ensure their soiree is memorable and better than their ex-husband’s last gathering!
As a result, when rich people discuss a party they will always mention the champagne fountain or its conspicuous absence. It is a measure of success and a means by which to weed out the faux-riche from the real deal like Boy Scout merit badges help children pick their friends. Just as you wouldn’t want to be caught in the woods with someone who excels in computers, poetry and theatre nobody wants to spend a perfectly good night at a party where the booze trickles rather than flows. What next, should you supply your own cocaine and gold digging tramps…preposterous!
While most of the posts at Stuff Rich People Love are intended to help you make friends, champagne fountains is a pass or fail standard that you should apply to wealthy people you encounter. This won’t ingratiate you with the rich but you can build credibility by partaking in scorning parties without this vital accoutrement. Furthermore, it will most certainly gain you respect at the office when you off-handedly suggest building one for the next staff function as though it is standard practice within your circle of friends. Your newly showcased sophistication should help next time you tell the cute blond in accounting that you could use her on your staff!
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Stuff Rich People Love 
Well, I clearly don’t rate, as I have never seen this! But, based on this picture, I see that this whole thing, while probably impressive (“It’s RAINING champagne!”), seems to be perfect for DISSIPATING the very bubbles that are a major feature of champagne (otherwise, may as well have just white wine). While it’s bad enough that champagne spilling through the air in cascades exposes more bubbles to the atmosphere into which they are lost, what adds insult to the injury is the champagne ending up in those wide-mouth glasses instead of curving-inward champagne flutes that were designed to hold more bubbles in. I suppose a sign of a certain brand of “wealth without care” would be destroying the very luxury item that huge money was spent for; in other words, turning hundreds-of-dollars-a-bottle Dom Perignon into seven-dollars-a-bottle Andre, and all done for the “not a care in the world” show of it!