Scorning New Money
Price: Rich Grandparents
To most, someone with stacks of Ben Franklins is wealthy and money is money but for rich people there is ‘old money’ and there is ‘new money’. Old money smells like rich mahogany, leather bound books and has always had money while new money went to public school, didn’t have a nanny and clawed their way out of a tortuous middle class upbringing. As far as real rich people are concerned, the nouveaux riche are classless underlings and second class citizens. In fact, old money would rather spend time with their chauffeurs and gardeners than invite a pastel-wearing, Lamborghini driving, loud-mouthed, hedge fund millionaire into their home when the only thing they have in common is their bank balance.
If you intend to befriend the wealthy you must become adept at recognizing the telltale signs of generational wealth vs. the self-made man. Old money is proper, cultured and knows things like when to wear seersucker. Both groups own luxury vehicles but new money opts for aftermarket ‘spinner’ rims and bright colors. Old money would rather wear white after Labor Day than be seen in a yellow Ferrari. Essentially, old money is conservative while new money flaunts their wealth with public displays of opulence.
It is imperative that you choose sides; with whom will you ingratiate yourself? Do you opt for smoking cigars surrounded by hooker-hot blondes on the city’s most popular patios or for lounging in a private library with snifters of Brandy discussing the Fed’s monetary policy? What about ringside seats at UFC in Vegas or is the loge for Bizet’s Carmen more your style? Just as all US citizens are either Republican or anti-American, rich people are new money or old but never both; neither is wrong but they don’t agree on anything. I take that back, both are repulsed by poor people and believe white pants are stylish for men.