Not Having a Sense of Humor
Price: Frown Lines
Rich people don’t intentionally lack a sense of humor, their parents had it exorcised at a young age. While most children, and many adults for that matter, find the “dinky, boobies, pee-pee” genre uproariously funny, the rich do not. Say any of those words in their presence and you will be greeted with a look of disapproval and scorn generally reserved for suggestions that their child join the high school drama program.
It isn’t that the rich don’t appreciate their brand of humor, the issue is that their brand of humor isn’t funny. Rich people make jokes that revolve around having money, business or poking fun at the poor and there is an extensive list of topics that are taboo. Try making a bodily function joke in the presence of the wealthy and you will hear crickets. On the other hand, quip about bear markets or your gardener needing health insurance and you’ll be sharing Cuban cigars on the back nine. Not to miss an opportunity, use this as a cornerstone of making friends with rich people. Granted, this will mean curtailing your sense of humor when in the company of the wealthy but if you learn to fit in it will be you laughing all the way to the bank.
When making conversation, try to imagine the color grey. This will help you to dull down your vivaciousness and better fit in with your hosts. If you feel an overwhelming desire to make a joke, take a moment and consider old people eating; this will work marvels in suppressing your comedic urges. While not making jokes is an important skill to master, learning when to laugh is equally important. Just like Catholics are bred to feel guilt, the rich have an inherent ability to instinctively know when to laugh. Until you are able to develop your own instincts, follow the lead of those around you. For a while you may feel discomfort but you will soon settle into chuckling, not laughing, at jokes about flying economy, wearing off-the-rack clothing and ordering from the menu. In rare cases, you may develop such a keen sense that you can start making jokes yourself. If you reach this point, it will be as satisfying as thinking in a foreign language. In the meantime, integrate words like amusing, charming and drôle into your vocabulary to replace hilarious, sidesplitting and priceless.